FRUITLESS ENDEAVOR #1

The KFC Popcorn Chicken Commercial Contest

Most people think when not infecting stages everywhere with his bilious patter and apocalyptic rantings, ANGRY BOB in repose likes no more then to sit around eating bonbons and watching his hindquarters grow - well, that's the case generally, but once in a great while, he will launch his massiveness off his haunches and endeavor to involve himself in some other kind of potential lucrative project to further his hegemony over the comedic world (and remember his ultimate goal - today, the stages of comedy clubs everywhere...tomorrow, THE WORLD [but maybe not in that order!]) - anywho, this little clip comes from last year, when ANGRY BOB was balder, a wee fluffier and apparently gayer (note the choice of shirt -a period of sexual confusion and [self] exploration!), and he, along with his pal, the great and funny DARNELL HOUSTON, decided to innocently enter a contest created by the great KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN Company (give me a bucket of extra crispy and a few biscuits and I can conquer the world!!) touting the gastronomic benefits of their new popcorn chicken - the premise was thusly: create a 30 second spot advertising the aforementioned delight and send the results to KFC - the reward?? The spot would be aired; accolades and laurel wreaths would be proffered to the victors and the creation of the ANGRY BOB IMPERIUM would be assured! So, camera and props in hand, the stalwart pair embarked upon the project with the zeal a buzzard would take when devouring carrion under the broiling desert sun! The project was completed, the results forwarded to the concerned parties...AND THEY LOST...curses!!! But, dear fans and admirers (detractors??) of ANGRY BOB - when viewing this amusing bit of video, it could not fathomed why the gray flannel suits at KFC Inc. wouldn't be batting themselves silly to rush toward the talented duo with congratulatory handshakes and long spokesmen contracts - the basic premise was sound: a man viscerally enjoying his KFC POPCORN CHICKEN (ANGRY BOB) while it began to magically DISAPPEAR, much to the consternation of the chicken fan - after much quick witted investigation, he catches a wayward hand attempting to make off with his fowlish prize - and this hand was attached to THE OTHER CHICKEN FAN (DARNELL HOUSTON) so famished and ravaged with hunger that he leaves all his senses and concocts a RUBE GOLDBERBESQUE plot to disguise himself in the guise of a garbage pail and thwart our hero's gastronomy thusly!!! But, as it were - like the German National Socialists and the Italian "Fascisti" - they realize they have an ultimate goal and common interests - and the PUNCHLINE of the bit is that now indoctrinated, our hero joins his nemesis in mindless larceny and find yet another CHICKEN FAN (MICKEY BLISS) to sate their bloodlust for crunchy poultry - now there are 2 disguised garbage can chicken eaters trying to GET THE CHICKEN from a third party!! A wonderfully creative and wildly hilarious (at least they thought so!!) concept executed deftly and professionally by ANGRY BOB and Mr. HOUSTON!! BUT THEY LOST!! And the winning idea: some old guy fishing, or something like that, REALLY SUCKED IN COMPARISON!!! So, either there was some kind of insider pressure vying for this other lesser idea, or the planets were just not in the right alignment for success for our team, or the KFC people really didn't like the idea of their product being sold by a really fat bald white guy stuffing his face while a black guy dressed as a garbage can kept stealing it...we may never know!! In the meantime, please enjoy this NEVER BEFORE SEEN commercial concept - a true testimonial to the American spirit of striving for greatness and riches in the face of adversity - or something like that!!!